it has really been a long long time after my last entry

at that time, i was still working in Med, never thought of leaving...

but now, i have started my new life in Eye, things here are interesting (partly because i know nothing about it before i came which makes me interested in reading up), people are nice, and i am sure i won't regret after my 1st call here

must add more oil to practise my skills here !!!  (and frankly speaking i can't actually recall any occasion i could clearly see a fundi with my direct ophthalmoscope when i was a student )

ok, i am still white in terms of patient load, my minimal no. of Pt was once 7... but my call day is getting dark...

always needed to do CPR, really DOING it myself instead of standing there giving orders, and those were the ones with good premorbid, then continuous arrest, each time after i saw the relatives telling them that the Pt had given regained the pulse and when i was writing the record, the nurses would say to me "yee... yau flat jor la wor"... continuous CPR for 2 hr on last last call day, and then 3  hr yesterday... i was going to collapse myself.  and the saddest thing is both Pts at the end passes away... ai...

i know i lack exercise, but i don't wanna do it during my call!!!

what have i done wrong???

last call day was like crazy, kept admitting people non-stop, 10+ being my new case; kept intubating/ BIPAPing people, CPR for 1.5 hr as the Pt got arrest twice in 15 min (the 2nd time when i had just told the family she had regained the consciousness and pulse)

the next day, i have 29 patients under me, 4 of them intubated... ventilator ward is going to kill me

and then, round 50 partients on holiday round

how come??? i was used to be so white when i was a houseman